Domestic Abuse

What is Domestic Abuse and Coercive Control?

Domestic abuse is behaviour by someone to control or gain power over a partner or family member. It can include controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse. It can include psychological, physical, sexual, financial, emotional abuse.In nine out of ten cases, children are in the same or next room when the abuse is going on. Domestic abuse impacts on their wellbeing. Coercive Control is a form of emotional domestic abuse and is a criminal offence. It is behaviour intended to make someone feel intimidated, scare, humiliated or threatened. It is a purposeful pattern of behaviour.

In nine out of ten cases, children are in the same or next room when the abuse is going on. Domestic abuse impacts on their wellbeing.

Coercive Control is a form of emotional domestic abuse and is a criminal offence. It is behaviour intended to make someone feel intimidated, scare, humiliated or threatened. It is a purposeful pattern of behaviour.

How does it affect children?

Children are affected in many ways by abuse, even after a short time. These effects include: feeling frightened, becoming withdrawn, bedwetting, running away, aggressiveness, behavioural difficulties, problems with school, poor concentration and emotional turmoil. The longer children are exposed to abuse, the more severe the effects on them are.

Domestic violence may teach children to use violence
Violence can affect children in serious and long-lasting ways
Where there is domestic abuse, there is often child abuse

Children will often blame themselves for domestic abuse
Alcohol misuse is a very common contributing factor when violence occurs in families
Pregnant women are more vulnerable to domestic abuse

Children who witness, intervene or hear incidents are affected in many ways. What can be guaranteed is that children do hear, they do see and they are aware of abuse in the family. Children will learn how to behave from examples parents/carers set for them. Domestic abuse teaches children negative things about relationships and how to deal with people. For instance:

It can teach them that violence is an acceptable way to resolve conflict
They learn how to keep secrets
They learn to mistrust those close to them and that children are responsible and to blame for abuse, especially if violence erupts after an argument about the children

Adolescent to Parent Violence (APV) / Child to Parent Violence (CPV)

Adolescent to Parent Violence (APV) or Child to Parent Violence (CPV) can be defined as ‘abusive behaviour perpetrated by a child against a parent/carer. Abusive behaviours include but are not limited to, threats, name calling, humiliation, threats to harm themselves or others, property damage, physical violence and theft.

Adolescent to Parent Violence or Child to Parent Violence is not restricted to violence against a parent; it extends to violence against a family member who is acting as a parent i.e. foster family, grandparents, aunt or uncle. It can occur even when the child or adolescent does not live in the same property as their parents.

What Can I Do?

Domestic abuse is a crime, never hesitate to call the police who have specialist officers trained to help you and put you in touch with other agencies who can help you with safety planning, housing issues, drug or alcohol problems or give details of solicitors who can assist you with the legal side of things.

Services for men and woman experiencing domestic violence both locally and nationally, who can provide advice and support on a wide range of issues can be found below and on our National Resources webpage .

Paragon is the Isle of Wight’s domestic abuse and sexual crime service provider. They also provide support and services to parents and carers who are experiencing child to parent violence. Abuse can be reported via their freephone helpline on 0800 234 6266 . You can also email them at ParagonIOW@theyoutrust.org.uk or view their leaflet .

National Domestic Abuse Helpline provides support and information to those who have, or are, experiencing, violence and abuse. Run by specialist services to help survivor’s access safety and rebuild their lives. Contact them on 0808 2000 247 any time day or night.

Men’s Advice line is a confidential helpline for men experiencing domestic violence from a partner or ex-partner (or from other family members). Call free on 0808 801 0327 Monday-Friday 9am-5pm or email info@mensadviceline.org.uk

Are you concerned about your behaviour towards your partner

Do you recognise that you are abusive to your partner? Are you worried your children are witnessing too many arguments between their parents? You can refer yourself to the Hampton's Trust who provide a service for perpetrators:

The Hampton Trust provide a range of services for perpetrators to encourage healthy, non-abusive relationships. Contact the service on 02380 009898 .

Domestic Abuse

What is Domestic Abuse and Coercive Control?

How does it affect children?

Adolescent to Parent Violence (APV) / Child to Parent Violence (CPV)

What Can I Do?

Are you concerned about your behaviour towards your partner

IOW Council Domestic Abuse

IOW Domestic Abuse Service Provider

Organisations that can Help

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